None of That Other Stuff Really Matters

I was having another pajama day.  You know, the days where I didn't quite make it into regular clothes and remained in my pajamas all day.  Okay, okay... So it was a pajama week.  There, I said it.  This whole scenario had actually been recurring, and much more frequently than I would have liked.  Life happens sometimes.  On this particular day, my husband walked in the door from work while I was at the stove preparing dinner.  I inwardly sighed about my disheveled appearance and said to him, "I'm sorry I'm still in my pajamas and still have no make up on."  As a side note I should say that I know my husband loves me inside out, top to bottom, through and through, make up or no make up.  But I also know he really appreciates when I take care of myself and look nice for him.  He lovingly looks at me and says, "Babe, none of that really matters to me as long as you have a good attitude."  This response surprised me actually.  Not at all what I expecting.

It's gotten me thinking about attitude though.  My husband has always been a firm believer in choosing how you feel, which is really choosing your attitude.  And I have typically fought him on this issue, especially when my emotions are high.  But for some reason what he said that day really hit me.  I think it is possible to choose my attitude, regardless of how my day went, what the kids did, what the bank account looks like, etc.  It's possible; I didn't say easy.  So to assist us in our choosing at the marketplace of attitudes, I have put together some practical applications on how to have a good one. Here they are:

1) Make a declaration about your attitude.  Before (or even in the moment) there is an opportunity for some situation or circumstance to spoil your attitude, declare to yourself and those around you that you will have a good attitude today.  Proverbs 18:21 says, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue.  And those who love it will eat its fruit."

2) Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal what the real problem is.  Often times the problem that we see isn't really the problem.  Why are you having a bad attitude?  The Father loves to speak to His children.  Spend some time talking to Him and He will show you what's going on.  He will also give you the solution.

3) Choose to smile!  There have been studies done proving that smiling improves overal attitude and demeanor.  Not to mention that it's easier on the facial muscles! http://www.livestrong.com/article/18859-health-benefits-smiling/

Give these a try for a couple weeks and let me know how much your attitude has improved (and if your husband notices ;)

Proof that God is Crazy About His Kids

My heart could burst sometimes when I look at my babies and I am so in love with them. Sometimes I am utterly and completely overwhelmed with how incredible and precious and beautiful they are. My heart fills to overflowing and I can't contain how I feel. There are simply no words adequate enough to express this in full. I was just gazing in awe at a picture of my precious Thea and how much this feeling was overtaking me just as I was looking at it.

Then my mind went to Daddy God. He's my Father and I came from Him. Could He be feeling that same thing when He looks at me? Could He be so madly in love with my very existence too? The way I smile and laugh. How I am moved to compassion when I see someone who is hurting. How my eyebrows furrow when I'm deep in thought, as I am often. Even how I get all out of whack when something doesn't go as I think it should go. Could I possibly turn the head of the God of the universe? Could He really notice me in that way?

And what if God made and designed mothering to, in part, reveal this to us? It's as if He is saying, "See! This is how I feel about you! This is what I think of you! When you fall head over heels in love with this precious little one, think of Me. Think of how much I love you." 

Mothering is a gift. From God. To you. And me. I think He designed motherhood to speak of His undying, pure and sacrificial love for us to see in a tangible way in our life here on earth. I'm sure there are other ways too. All of creation tells of His glory and wonder. But what is it about a mom and her baby, when the two are nose-to-nose gazing into each others eyes in a way that only the two can? A picture of God the Father loving ever so tenderly on His beloved children who are safe in His arms. 

Psalm 103:13 

As a father pities his children, so the LORD pities those who fear Him.  

(Quick side note study on the word "pities" in this verse-Hebrew word racham meaning: to love deeply, to feel or show compassion, to tenderly regard someone, to tenderly love (especially as parents love their infant child.))

Mothering By Grace...Like an Eagle

For a moment I considered trying to change the title of my blog to "mothering by grace", but unfortunately it is taken. Bummer. It's pretty catchy. That's how big this epiphany was for me. So I decided to write a post about it instead.

 I remember a time when my oldest daughter was only months old and I was going through a Beth Moore bible study with some ladies at church. I missed that week's meeting so I watched the DVD at home while Addison was soundly napping in her crib. Beth was talking about how some things in each of our lives can seem unreasonably difficult and trying. Those things that we just can't seem to get a grip on and move through.  Over and over again. Do you have those things in your life? I sure do, and mothering happens to be one that I face daily. For me, becoming a confident mom has been just that...a becoming. It's been a process to settle into this role and embrace it with joy and abandon. The warm fuzzies weren't delivered to me with the baby, if you know what I'm saying. So at this point, I was all ears to what Beth had to say.

She went on talking about how those mountains of impossibility that we face are an invitation to walk though them by God's grace. She went as far as saying that it is a huge blessing even to be able to overcome hard circumstances relying solely on His grace. It was one of those moments that I remember so vividly, but yet I didn't really get it.  I didn't understand the magnitude of what she meant until lately.  I feel like I'm just beginning to grasp what grace is at all.

I can tell though when I'm walking in that sweet spot of grace.  I feel supernatural in a sense.  This might be a stretch here for someone, but when I'm in that spot I feel like an eagle.  That's right, I feel like I have a bird's eye view on my circumstances.  Like I'm soaring above the neediness, the tantrums, the constant demands, the endless meal planning and preparation, the continuous dishes and loads of laundry. The tough stuff.  The day to day grind.  The stuff I can't follow through with on my own without going insane.  Like an eagle, I can look down on it all with a different perspective, rather than being in the middle surrounded by what feels like could overcome my very existence.  Instead, I overcome it.  All the while I am at peace in my identity as an eagle, spending my time soaring in the heights far removed from the chaos and clutter down below.

So lately, God's grace in my mothering looks like eagles' wings to me.  What does it look like for you?  “But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint” (Isaiah:40:31). 

       

Flesh problems

When my flesh takes over, I regard no one according to the flesh, including myself... This is how it's supposed to pan out anyway.  I will be honest with you though.  I am having a total flesh day today.  You ever have those?  I have them often.  So this post is really for me; I am just sharing with you what God is speaking to me. 

Lately my life has been marked by fleshly traits such as fatigue, insatiable hunger (breastfeeding mama here), toddler tantrums, impatience, irritability, poopy diapers, more toddler tantrums... You get the idea.  I am not complaining about how all I do is stay at home with needy kids all day and how I need some sort of out or something.  What I am saying though, is that I am made up of flesh.  My children are made up of flesh.  Flesh is everywhere, and I can't escape this reality.  So with that comes all the wonderful realities that flesh carries.  And I am faced with a decision multiple times per day: Do I define myself by who I am in the flesh or by who I am in the Spirit?

Let's take fatigue for example.  I have found myself going on and on about how tired I have been.  Someone asks me how I am doing, and I respond with, "I'm tired."  Being physically tired is a flesh issue.  And while it may be entirely factual that I am tired, there is a greater truth from which I can draw strength.  Matthew 11:28-30 says "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.  Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS.  For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."  

It's all about the power of my mindset and words really.  I have to remind myself many times daily who I am in Christ and what is available to me.  Often times, I begin my day with 1 Corinthians 13.  I am talking to myself (my flesh) and it goes something like this, "I am patient, and I am kind.  I am not easily angered and I keep no record of wrongs.  I bear all things, believe all things, hope all things and endure all things.  God's love in me never fails."  I do this because I know how unruly my flesh likes to get.  And I know how good my kids are at pushing just the right button at just the right time.  So it's like I'm calling a meeting with Me, Myself and I.  Just letting everyone know that the Spirit will be guiding the ship today.

I am not perfect at this, but I do recognize a difference in my day when I regard myself according to the Spirit and not according to my flesh.  And according to God, I am seated in heavenly places with Jesus and I am a co-heir to God's kingdom with Him.  I am more than a conqueror through Him.  I am the head and not the tail; I am above and not beneath.  I prosper and I am in health, just as my soul prospers.  I am His beloved daughter, and He loves to give me good things.  He gives me the desires of my heart.  

 So here is my challenge to you, Beloved daughter of the King... Next time you find yourself feeling too tired to go on, I dare you to declare to your soul that God gives you rest!  And then see what happens! 

Can I Just Have A Minute??? Pleeeeaaase...

Yes, this question is what fills my mind during many minutes throughout my day with three children ages three and under at home with me.  If only I could just sneak in a couple minutes to check Facebook or emails or drink a cup of coffee while it's still hot or... But alas, I am interrupted again.  Interrupted by a baby who wants to be held and played with and acknowledged.  Interrupted by a toddler who needs a snuggle or needs his nose wiped.  Interrupted by a three year old who wants my full and undivided attention while she tells me a story about princess castles and horsies.  This all to familiar scenario brings me to another, more important question: What is the true interruption taking place here?  Are my children interrupting me... Or is there a deficit in my own "need tank", so to speak, that's interrupting my ability to be "all there" when it comes to taking care of them?

Mom, please just hear me out till the end of this post.  I (as do we all) need times alone and away from my children to refresh myself and feel full enough so that what's on the inside of me overflows out onto them.  That's the key though.  I want to overflow onto my children.  But some days, I feel like I have to dig down so deep on the inside of myself just to get the bare minimum of what I need to care for them all and keep a remnant of my sanity.  Some days, my best feels pathetically inadequate compared to the vastness of their needs.  I feel like I fall short over and over and over again.   

Am I speaking anyone's language here?  Or am I the only mom who struggles to make sure I am taking care of me so that I can in turn give my family my best?  I have noticed that I start to claw at every opportunity to catch a break when I have stopped overflowing.  It happens when I am in serious need of some "me time" and I am running of fumes.   

How do we get full enough to trigger the overflow?  And then to remain in overflow mode, if you will.  I have found that it takes work.  It takes planning and intentionality.  It takes realizing that it isn't selfishness; it is the opposite actually.  When you make a deliberate choice to take care of yourself (however that looks for you), you can then give your husband, kids, girlfriends, etc. the very best you have.  They won't get leftovers...or fumes, which stink!  

So what fills you up, friend?  Do you guard nap time and bedtime with your very own life, like I do?  Do you trade kids with a friend once a week and go enjoy a coffee in peace?  Get lost in a novel every once in a while?  Maybe your hubby takes care of the kids one night a week while you go walk around aimlessly at Target (and perhaps spend a few bucks).  Whatever it is that fills you up, do it! Regularly.  Don't wait until you're on fumes to fill up your tank.  And remember on those rough days that God's grace is sufficient for you and your family.  We can only do this mothering thing by His grace anyway!      

Not JUST a stay at home mom

I am very blessed to be able to stay at home with my three precious and full-of-life children.  I genuinely see it this way.  I get to see all of the little-big things they do everyday that essentially make up their growth and development.  I wouldn't trade it for the world!  Of course, I have days when I want to pull my hair out because, let's just be honest here folks-that would be less painful than remaining patient and positive for the duration of their wakeful hours.  Truly, this season has been one of the most refining times my life has ever been through, the hottest furnace I've ever voluntarily walked into.

But you want in on a little secret?  I realized the other day as I was watching the kids play together (and they do so very well, thankfully!) that I am not JUST a stay at home mom.  It was like a Holy Spirit moment; a ray of heaven's light shone through the ceiling and into my living room, and God spoke.  He reminded me of a powerful and profound truth that day.  When I looked over at Addison and Carter and Thea, I saw through their baby faces and saw three world changers.  Top to bottom, through and through.  He reminded me that what I am doing everyday is shaping who they will become as school-age kids, as teenagers, as adults.  I am helping to equip them for the call that God has on their lives to "carry out great exploits in His name" and to represent His love and His kingdom.  My kids have been put on this planet by the God of the universe Himself, and He has a plan and purpose for their lives.  It's up to me during this season to shape and mold their character and show them the heart of their Father God through my parenting.  

I know that this isn't really news.  We as moms all know deep down that what we do with and for our kids is significant and much bigger than ourselves.  But it's easy to feel monotonous and mundane with all the diapers and cereal bowls and constant nagging to stop jumping on the couch and clean up the toys.  The day in, day out tasks required of me as a mother can make it hard to see that I'm doing anything of real and lasting value.  It's like the daily stuff becomes a fog that I must merely survive until the next nap time or bedtime.  So today, I thank God for the reminders that stretch me through these days that are so long, yet so short.  

Can I encourage you, mom in the trenches, that you are a part of something grand and beautiful and bursting at the seams with purpose?  God made YOU and only you to be your child's mom, and you do a better job than anyone else on the planet could do!  Be blessed as you minister to your own little-big world changers!

Believing Truth

Back when my husband and I first met, he truly swept me off my feet.  A million times over.  He would always tell me how beautiful I was and how in love with me he was.  He would comment on how no sunset in all the earth could compare to my beauty.  Picture perfect romance.  There was only one problem.  And that problem was me and my thoughts.  I didn't believe a word of it, nor did I accept it.  I actually rejected those compliments and tried to make a case against them, telling him and myself all the reasons why I was not beautiful or valuable or lovable.  I had a very low opinion of myself then.  So low that I could have sworn he was making up these "too good to be true" accolades.  After continually rejecting his opinion of me verbally, I eventually graduated to being silent and shrugging it off, allowing him to live in la-la land by himself.

Fast forward eight or so years.  We have been married seven years, and he still tells me how beautiful I am almost daily.  But something recently changed.  It was like a light switch turned on inside me.  When he tells me that I'm beautiful I no longer reject it, even to myself.  When he asks, "Do you know that?", I confidently say, "Yeah," and with a smile even.  You see, the power of words is incredible.  I truly feel beautiful.  I mean, sure, I have bad hair days and I generally wish that there was a quick fix for my 'ol muffin top that doesn't involve working out and saying no to cookies.  But on a regular basis, I feel beautiful.  I feel secure about my appearance.  I am no longer ashamed of who I am and how I look on the outside (muffin top and all ;)

This whole testimony got me thinking about what God's opinion of me is.  What His word says about who I am, regardless of how I feel about myself or what someone else said about me.  The husband-wife relationship is an earthly picture of our relationship with Jesus.  And Jesus never sleeps when it comes to romancing our hearts.  He is ever constant in His love for me and for you.

So what about you Beloved?  What truth about yourself are you rejecting today?  You are beautiful and good.  God said so Himself on that last day of creation.  Do you know that?  I challenge you to find out what His word says about you.  In time, you can start to believe it too.