The mom I vowed I would never become

As I sit here writing, I look around my house and see that it is basically totally dirty, messy and disheveled.  It drives me crazy to be perfectly honest.  There are several baskets of folded and unfolded laundry laying around, toys on the floor, dishes and food items left out.  And dare I mention how filthy my socks were after walking around on the kitchen floor and carpet all day!

Oh, but there were days when I had no children or only one child.  I was Miss Perfection living in Perfect Land.  Everything had a place, and everything was in its place. Not a dish was left in the sink or on the counter before going to bed.  I put my laundry away while it was still hot out of the dryer for crying out loud!  I saw other moms' houses that looked similar to the way my own looks currently.  As I politely insisted that I didn't care how clean their home was, or that the bathroom looked like it just got hit by an atomic waste bomb, I inwardly gawked at how careless and disorganized she must be for allowing such filth and chaos.  I would then pridefully marvel at how pristine my floors were.  So clean that you could in fact eat off of them.  So just the fact that I was sitting on this mother's stained couch was a leap for me.  I vowed to myself that I would never become "that mom".  

That was me... Three kids and about four years ago.  The above condition of my home has become my new norm and reality (not forever I do hope!).  And as much of a stretch this new way of life truly is, I have somehow begun to find freedom in it.  Freedom in the midst of chaos.  Who would have thought?  

Now freedom comes with a price, mind you.  It has not been easy to actively chose to ignore the mess so that I could instead spend quality time with my kids and husband.  I have to do this on purpose.  I've had to rise above the mess- and that only by the grace of God- and objectively survey the things that are truly important.  The dishes and laundry and hairballs on the carpet make their best effort to suck me back into a frantic cleaning frenzy.  But I choose to play trucks with my son.  I choose to rock my baby girl to sleep.  I choose to snuggle and give my growing-up-ever-so-quickly daughter a scratch back.  

The dishes will always be there, but.... Well, the dishes will still always be there!  Really though, these precious gifts that we call children grow up quickly and change by the minute.  In the long run, when they are grown, what will I remember?  Will I look back and wish that I hadn't let my bathrooms get so dirty or that I did a better job keeping the dishes under control?  No, I think I will look back and see the times I spent with my family.  And I hope that I am content and filled to overflowing with joy at the memories and relationships we built together!  One messy kitchen at a time :)