...We Can Make it if We Try

CJ and I always hung onto every word the wise couple said.  Pastors Shawn and Heidi were our premarital counselors, and to this day, we still take the three-hour long trip to see them when we come to a hurdle in our marriage that we can't clear on our own.  They have also become dear friends whom we hold close to our hearts.  During one of our premarital meetings, I remember I was sitting at the dining room table as they went on to say, "On your wedding day, you will become the Perry family.  Any children you have in the future will be welcome additions to your family.  But the two of you will be a family."  

The two of us a family.  Seems a bit foreign considering that we typically talk about "starting a family" once we have children.  Picture just you and your husband as a family.  You will again be a family of two once your kids leave the house, and most certainly when they "leave and cleave" to their own future spouses.  What will become of the two of you when that does happen?  Does it make you excited just thinking about it?  Or do you get a pit in your stomach wondering what on earth you will spend your days doing and talking about when the kids are not center stage in your life any longer?  If you are feeling less than excited, then I assure you Beloved, there is hope!

Just as we go from glory to glory in our walk with the Lord, our lives can get better and better with each passing year.  Maybe we have a tendency to think and fear that our best days are behind us, but I believe that our best days are ahead of us.  With each season of life, God has something special to give us.  We just have to look for it and be open to receive it.  So it is when we think about the day when we will be a family of two again after our children have grown and left.  Why should those of us with littles be thinking about this now?  Because now is the time that we are building the life we will have when that day comes.

Here are some things that we do to keep "just the two of us" in that spot of looking forward to our time together as empty nesters:

We dream together.  I once heard it said that it doesn't matter whether or not you become the prime minister of Malasia (if they even have a prime minister lol!).  Just dream about what could be, whether it is realistic or not.  Husbands especially need the freedom to do this.  Dream about what you plan to do together during that time.  

We have regular dates.  This is a must!  Keeping your relationship a priority not only strengthens your marriage, but helps your kids feel secure.  Their world feels okay when they know that Mom and Dad are okay.  Dates help keep us unified and the communication flowing. 

We maintain our friendship.  Be each others' best friend.  Do things together side-by-side, things that you both enjoy doing together.  There are seasons and times when romance is scarce, but you can always have your friendship if you sow into it regularly!

We are sexually intimate.  Do not let this part of your relationship slide.  Sexual intimacy builds strong and secure walls of protection around your marriage that you need to be there.  If this area is something you dread or is less than satisfying, please seek the help and counsel you need.

We laugh!  Keep things light and fun.  Even when we are in a fight, we cannot keep straight faces for very long.  So we usually try not to look at each other because once we do, it's all over!  Try not to take each other or your circumstances too seriously. 

I hope that sheds some light and helps!  Now go schedule a date night with your man!